Return to Bear Country
by ULTIMAX-001
Summary: This is a fanfic of Little Bear. It's about Frog returning to Bear Country after a period of time. Little Bear is an adult and so are all of his friends. Things have changed for Bear Country as time passed! I revised the chapters. Ch 6 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

I am not Else Holmelund Minarik or Maurice Sendak. I don't know them and I am not part owner to the rights to their works. However, I do have the right to write a fanfic about their works; works such as the esteemed cartoon, Little Bear. So to all of the people who will have a problem with this story, I say to you, grow up. It's just a fanfic.

Much has changed since I've left the woods of Bear Country to traverse the world for enrichment and enlightenment. I decided to return to these woods for I've been feeling awfully nostalgic. I have longed for my old pond and lily pad for some time, now. But all as such was necessary if I am ever to expand my mind and soul. As I write these memoirs I hope to relinquish all I have learned since I've been gone. These woods are apart of me as well. I shall start with my encounter with Little Bear who I've met on the way back home.

I needed to acquire a boat heading towards the woods I am so familiar with. I was in Greenland when I've decided to come home. At the pier I was looking for a captain who would ferry me back to Canada. I came across the S.S. Winter. The boat's captain was a fisherman. Well, the correct terminology would be fisherman bear. It was Little Bear. I had nott recognized him at first glance. He was wearing a blue vest and an even bluer captain's hat.

"Greetings, Little Bear," I said to him with sudden happiness.

"Why, ahoy, there," he said to me in a confused matter. "No one had called me that for 12 years. Do I know you?"

"Forgive me. It has been some time since we've departed from each other."

"Wait…Frog!? Frog it's been ages! How are you?"

He has now realized who I am. He asked me aboard his vessel.

After battening down the hatches and other nautical chores in which I was not familiar with, we went into the captain quarters to have soup and tea. He began to tell me his story of when since I've took my leave.

_Not much changed immediately. I still played with my friends, I still lived with Mother Bear and Father Bear, and Emily still went to school in the fall. For a while things still were the same ol' same ol'. But years progressed and things started to get a little more interesting._

This was the first time I ever heard Little Bear pronounce the word "interesting", in-tres-sting instead of in-ter-rest-ing as he always said as a child.

_My main focus was Emily. I stopped spending time with Duck, Cat, Owl, Hen, No Feet, and Mitzi. We still would play together but not as much as me and Emily did. I had these unexplainable "feelings." I told Mother Bear and Father Bear about it and they said maybe it would be best for us to not be around each other so much. I took their advice and did just that. But that was when things got complicated._

_A couple of years later, Hen disappeared all of the sudden. Word got around the woods and we were all looking for her. I went looking for Hen one day by myself. I was searching in some bushes when I found Lucy, Emily's Doll. I grabbed her and looked around. Emily was searching for her Doll. I thought she must have lost it when she was looking for Hen. I called out to her and she came running to me. I gave Lucy to her and stepped back to take a look at Emily. I have never seen her look so beautiful in my entire life. She looked gorgeous. She was older with a more mature physique. I haven't seen her in a while and she grew…up! It was awkward at first but we got around to saying hello to each other. Eventually we started looking for Hen together. Unfortunately, we found her. Well, we found her severed head, anyway, and other remains. We held a funeral. Owl gave a touching eulogy. We buried her at what used to be her home. We tore it down and turned it into her tomb. No one took a thing from her home. Cat was especially sentimental that day. After everyone left her grave he was the only one there. Me and Emily wanted to go to Hop Frog Pond after the funeral. But I remembered Father Bear needed my help with some house work. So Emily suggested we go that night, and I agreed. When night came I snuck out to go meet with her, but she met me at my front gate. From there we raced to Hop Frog Pond. Once we got there we just sat at the banks with our feet in the water. She asked why I stopped seeing her. I couldn't really tell her why. I was nervous. I told her that didn't matter now because we are together again. She didn't ask about the sudden separation anymore. We got in the water after that. She took off her dress and boots and got into the water with me. I was stunned by her body. I felt different. But I tried to ignore it and started splashing water on her. After a while we stopped and stood together in the water. She told me that the water was beautiful and I agreed. That's when we danced. I was so happy with her. I was…falling in love with her. We stopped and gazed into each other's eyes. I said her name once and she quickly said she had to go. She grabbed her clothes and ran home. I just stood in there alone staring at the water._

_We still saw each other but never alone. She started avoiding me and it bothered me. It was driving me crazy. One day I walked up to her and asked her in front of our friends why was she avoiding me. She told me I was scaring her. And that's when I told her I loved her. She was speechless and walked away. I haven't seen her in a while since then. Everyone went to their homes after that. I was left alone again._

"Little Bear, I'm sorry that happened to you," I responded.

"Sorry for what?" he responded back. I then looked around the quarters for anything out of the ordinary. I caught a glimpse at Little Bear's wedding band. I could tell then that the story was far from over.

"Excuse me, Little Bear. How rude of me," I apologized. "Please continue."

_Well, around my seventeenth birthday Father Bear asked me to work with him on his fisherman's boat. I was so excited. We worked all season and we would always bring home a large catch. We earned enough money to build additions to our home. My mind was free of Emily and the feelings I used to have for her. When I came home I went to see my friends. Owl became a well-known scholar and published twelve books, three of them novels. Despite his wealth he still lives in his tree. We realized that Duck was mentally…ill. Cat became a photographer. Ever since Hen's death he's turned to drugs and alcohol. Mitzi helps Cat with photography. She's a nature illustrator. Mother Bear has not changed one bit. No Feet, Moose, and two of the Otters had died, or rather killed. Hunters have moved in. But we have settled an agreement with each other. We suspected that one of them were the ones who killed Hen, years back. _

_One summer Emily came back. Everyone went to see her besides me. I was fishing one day at Hop Frog Pond, knowing I wouldn't catch anything. I heard a voice addressing me. It was Emily. I was bitter and responded very rudely to her. She told me she didn't blame me for acting that way. That is when she leaned against my back hugging me. She missed me so much. I stopped acting so bitter and apologized. Weeks later we began spending more time with each other again, just like old times. The years have been kind to her. She was stunning. She told me she was going to stop going to school and she would be moving back to Bear Country to live in the woods. I was so happy when I heard her say that. I would be able to spend time with her forever, I thought. But there was more to that. She wanted to move in with me. I told her that we would have to get married in order to do that. She looked at me and said "why don't we?"_

_A week latter we got married. I built a house for us between her late Grandmother's cabin and me and my parents' home. I also built this fishing boat by myself. I make a steady income. Emily is a teacher who teaches out of her Grandmother's cabin. She is the first certified teacher in Bear Country. Our marriage was the first interspecies marriage between human and animal in the world. Owl published the story in the local paper. The photographs where done by Cat, of course. That was about five years ago._

"Truly wonderful," I said to Little Bear.

"Yes it is," he responded reaching over to grab a toy train.

"I see you still play with toys."

"I do sometimes but this one is for my daughter."

I almost didn't catch myself gaping when I heard him say that. I thought it would be impossible for a mere human to beget the child of a bear from her womb.

At any rate, we've now arrived at the docks where our woods are not far away. Little Bear owns three work horses and two stables; one located by his house and one conveniently located by the docks. We rode a gorgeous Standard breed to the woods.

***Author's Desk (12/2009)***

I love Little Bear so it was important that I made this story as professional and enjoyable as possible. This had to be my Magnum Opus. I think I did a good job but not a lot of people know where to find this story (no traffic). I would like to continue if I got some more readers. I might just continue it for my sake.

I think the angle I'm approaching this story is creative. Frog seems to be an appropriate vehicle for the storytelling part of this story.

***Author's Desk (06/2012)***

Thank you everyone for reading the story. I am glad and really shocked that you guys are enjoying it. It's a bit tongue in cheek at times but you seem to have gotten around it. I'm gonna bring this story to a close before the year is out. I find that as a writer you will always edit your works and that's what I'm doing now. After editing I'll continue with the next chapter.

***Author's Desk (09/2012)***

So I'm still editing this story! A writer will never be satisfied until the piece is completely finished and so with this story I will edit it until it is perfect! I'm actually just getting ready to close this story and I will do that soon. The next chapter will be posted in a few days.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same as first.

Little Bear rode us into Bear Country about seven miles away from the docks. On the way I tried to see all that has changed. The foliage has expanded while the waterholes shrunk. It was only natural. I noticed it was more humid than usual. This was unlike May weather. The times have changed but it doesn't look to be in our favor. But Little Bear doesn't seem to be phased by it. And by his bountiful catch how could he be. He must've made well over five hundred dollars at the market! He even had a few nets for himself. Little Bear has become quite the provider.

It wasn't too long before we approached a quaint little cottage off the water. Little Bear took out a pocket watch and took a quick glance at it and placed it back in his vest pocket.

"School should be letting out soon," he told me as if he were talking to himself. Sure enough a bell rung and a school of toddlers came flowing out of the cottage. I was surprised to see little ones of different species: puppy, kitten, piglet, calf, human child, cub, and something else.

"Papa!" she screamed in delight as I almost fell back in shock. I was certain that this was the daughter Little Bear spoke of earlier. She was an interesting creature, no more bear than human but no more human than bear. She had sandy brown fur and it was short and clean. Her hands were human but she had short sharp nails. She was bare foot like her father. She had strong human arms and legs with cub's feet. I imagined it must've been difficult for her to walk at first. But her most interesting feature was her face. Her human neck held her head upright and without any issue. Her nose and mouth protruded and even though she had lips like a human she still had her father's snout but it didn't protrude as much as his. It was small and confined. Her nose was a chocolate drop color. It was the most adorable thing about her. Her eyes where big and green, an attribute of her mother's no doubt. She had freckled cheeks and sandy blonde hair. To top it off she had her father's cub ears.

It was a sight to behold. It was a miracle! I have never seen anything so unlike anything from this world. It was as precious as a tear drop from God himself.

"Hello Samantha," Little Bear said as he hugged her daughter. "I missed you so much! Have you've been good to your mother?"

"Yess!" she responded as if she were hiding more information. Her voice was so pure and innocent.

"Okay, where is she?"

"She's in the school house."

I looked up to see that a grown woman was stepping out of the school house and locking the door behind her. It was Emily. She came approaching the horse and buggy.

"Little Bear!" she said sternly with a smirk. "You weren't supposed to come home for three more days! You keep lying in you letters and I'm going to stop believing a word that comes out-Oh!"

She noticed me.

"Emily," Little Bear began to introduce. "You remember Frog, don't you?"

"Frog!?" she said surprisingly. "Is that really you!? Oh my goodness it is so nice to see you again. The years have been kind to you!"

"You're as charming as ever, Emily" I said.

"Samantha this is an old friend of ours from when we were kids," Emily told Samantha

"That's right; he's been traveling the world!"

"Like grandma and grandpa?" she questioned

"Yes like grandma and grandpa," Emily said.

Samantha took an short moment to look at me before she introduced herself.

"Hello Mr. Frwog. My name is Samantha. I'm four years old!" she said as she curtsied. Overwhelmed by her politeness I knew was only unique to her mother's I bowed back and gave her a "How do you do, young lady. It is a pleasure to have met your acquaintance." It isn't everyday someone this young can take an elder of their guard with only etiquette in their arsenal.

"Oh by the way Little Bear," Emily said. "They sent a letter. They're in Barcelona!"

We continued greeting each other on the way to their home. Emily had offered me to stay with them for my entire visit. But I assured her that I'd only stay until morning. I was anxious to see my own home. We finally reached their house. It was a two story brick layered cottage with a chimney, a shed, a gated yard like Little Bear's parent's yard, a garden, and a cellar underneath. It had many bottles of old wine. Emily collects them but never consumes. The yard had a sand box and a swing tied to a tree for Samantha. The house was decorated with trinkets and books and artifacts only found in homes of these parts of Bear Country. It was a family's home.

Emily had put on Little Bear's favorite meal, fisherman's stew, while he went out side to chop wood. She and I waited at the table as the stew cooked.

"I'm sure Little Bear has told you that a lot has changed!" she said

"He told me quite a lot. Like how you and he were married."

"Oh he did, did he?" she said with a half smile as she gazed out the window to look at him chop wood. "I guess that means he hasn't told you the whole story."

I was confused when she said that. I asked her what she meant by that and she began to tell her side of the story.

_Little Bear and I were always good friends but we had different lives to live. He was a bear and I, a human. But our friendship knew no species, color, or type. We had fun playing together. It used to be me, him, Owl, Cat, and the rest but after a while it was just me and him. It was fun until he stopped seeing me. I couldn't explain it. I asked Grandma about it and she told me that I'll understand when I'm older. I did get older but things got more confusing. When fall came around I went back to my home with my parents. Everyday I waited for a letter but nothing came. I had mixed feelings. I would go to school and play with other boys and I would get these funny feelings. Naturally I didn't know what was happening. My body was changing and I was "becoming a woman" as my mother put it. She always came into my room and said a prayer for me when she thought I was asleep. It became more frequent and longer over the years! I told her about me and Little Bear. She was concerned when I started talking about him more and more. I was in the middle of a story about us when she just stopped and slapped me! I was so shocked! She grabbed my arms and told me stop it. "Stop it! I don't want you around that bear anymore!" I was so scared. She told me that it was wrong and it will never work. He would grow violent and kill me. "Bears and Humans were never put on God's green earth to be together! It is an abomination!" She talked to me more about boys and sex and the entire sort. I was confused and scared but I couldn't help thinking about Little Bear and wondering if Little Bear was thinking of me. I would beg to go back to Grandma's house every chance I had and one summer my parents finally agreed. After a couple years I would finally get to go back to Bear country in hopes of rekindling me and Little Bear's friendship. But when I arrived at Grandma's cottage I found Grandma and Tutu in tizzy. They were gathering equipment for a search and rescue. That's when I found out that Hen went missing. I followed her into the woods with Lucy in my arm and we searched for hours. I got so diligent in searching I hadn't noticed that I placed Lucy down somewhere. As soon as I noticed Little Bear was right there with her in hand. I was so relieved…not that I found Lucy but to see Little Bear again._

_He grew a little. He was so cute standing there with his big brown eyes and hands behind his back! He just stood there like a big dopey teddy bear! I said hello first and he said hello back with a big smile! I forgot all about him not writing me! I was just happy that he was happy to see me. We then searched for Hen and we found her in…well, Little Bear told you, I'm sure. After the funeral, Little Bear and I wanted to go to Hop Frog Pond. But he had business elsewhere. I told him to meet me there at night. We did just that. We sat and talked for a minute to set things right again. Little Bear told me that what happened didn't matter anymore and I believed him. After that we swam together. We splashed and danced and laughed! It was so much fun. We stop to gaze at each other's eyes. His eyes were as full as the moon above us that night! I wanted this moment to last forever until I heard my mother's voice in my head. I shook my head and dismissed myself before Little Bear said anything. I went to the cottage and cried into my pillow all night._

_It wasn't the same after that. It was awkward enough with a death of a close friend but I started to avoid Little Bear. Cat and Owl noticed this. They asked if there was a fight and I told them there was nothing to worry about. I was reassuring them by lying to myself. During that time Cat picked up drinking. Of all things that cat could get into it happened to be a bottle of whiskey. I wasn't very happy with him but I endured for his sake._

_I was doing the right thing but my heart ached so much. Little Bear confronted me one day and told me he loved me in front of everyone! My heart told me to say I love you too but all I did was run. I ran to the cottage and told Grandma I wanted to leave and never come back. The next day I set off for home._

_Years passed and I continued my studies. Grandma died around the same time as Tutu. She said in her will that she wanted to be cremated and her ashes scattered off a cliff in France. We did the same for Tutu. She wrote a letter for my eyes only saying that the cottage will be mine when I wanted it. The key was in the envelope. At the time I didn't care for it. I've also received letters from Cat and Owl. I was happy to learn of Owl's success and read all of his publications. Cat was a very talented photographer. He's traveled some parts of the world, you know. All the boys at school wanted to court me. About a year after I finished school I meet a man from America. He was strong looking and had very dark skin, darker than Little Bear's fur. He was a soldier who came to our town in search of a place to live in while he awaits the arrival of his family from Mississippi. He was so strapping. His broad shoulders were as wide as a house! I was vacationing in Quebec City and decided to walk by a busy pier and noticed him from afar. He came up to me as I tried to ignore him "Excusez-moi Mademoiselle," he said in a strong masculine voice so big it can crumble a mountain. But in a sweetly calm and soft voice he asked me where he could find lodging for a few days in french. I was shocked that he spoke it so effortlessly. I knew I would be there for another day or so. In French I told him to follow me. We found a hotel and asked the clerk if rooms were available in English. There were and the soldier thanked me for helping him. He told me his name was Jackson Moreau. I suspected that he might've come from Louisiana but he told me Mississippi. He was charming and funny. We spent more time together and fell in love. One day he proposed to me. I was so surprised. I said yes and we rushed to my parents place to tell them the good news. I walked in alone and told them about Jackson and I and then I brought him in. My mother fainted at the sight of him. My father rushed to her to try and help her out of her spell. He then told Jackson that it would be best if he went home for now._

_When mother came too she jumped up and came at me hitting me and yelling at me. It took all of my father's strength to pull her off of me. I was ignorant of racism. My mother reads a lot of news from America and believes every word. She wanted us to move there one day. She believed in a Republic government. She was a strong believer in segregation. I knew then that she was not fond of Jackson. She gave me the same speech about staying away from Little Bear only fashioned for Jackson's case._

_Over the course of a few weeks I did some self analyzing and realized that I was living a constricted life. I was letting my mother take control of me. I realize what I wanted. I want what I can't have. I wanted Little Bear! One day Jackson met with me to discuss our future. I did love him but I told him I was in love with another and it took Jackson's involvement in my life to realize it. He understood and we kissed and never saw each other again. I packed my things and gathered what money I had and set off for Bear Country in the night without my parents' knowledge._

_I lived at the cottage for three days before I let my presence known. I sent invitations for a party at the cottage. Everyone came except Little Bear. Little Bear's parents were there and were embarrassed that he didn't come. Regardless of how I felt we still had the party. I told them of my plans to teach here in Bear Country. Everyone was very excited and offered their hand anyway they could. I was mostly given money for expenses and some of the men helped remodel the cottage. But that night I decided to go to Hop Frog Pond for old time's sake. I was startled to see that someone was already there. I wasn't too surprised to see that it was Little Bear. He really grew up. He had a lean physique for a bear. It looked dashing to me. I was repelled by his scornfulness when I tried to talk to him. I left him high and dry so how could I blame him. I came up to him to try and hug him. He let me and he came around. I was so relieved. If I died right then and there I wouldn't mind at all. I was finally at peace! We stayed there and talked until morning. Then we spent the whole day together. Then we decided to share our lives together. So here we are!_

I was deeply moved by her story. She endured so much but such is life as I've come to discover. Little Bear came in with Samantha following. We sat down to eat soon after and I shared with them the stories of my travels. I stayed the night and I said my farewells the next morning.

As I traversed the forest taking deep note of all of my surroundings I was nearly trampled by a familiar friend in distress. It was Duck. Encountering her meant that I wasn't too far from my old hopping hole. But I had to help my old friend first. Her head was stuck in an empty can and was unable to aide herself. I gladly hopped on the back of her neck to assist her. It was on tightly but I managed to free her from her temporary torment.

"Oh thank you Mr. Frog," she said when she saw me. I gathered that she did not recognize who I was.

"I thought I was a goner for sure. I couldn't breathe. Well, anyways, I'm Duck."

I chuckled and said "I know."

She gasped and said in return "How did you know? Was it because I'm a duck?" Surely that was a dead give away but her character is more recognizable than her species. I told her who I was and it all came back to her. I told her I was on my way to my pond and she offered to carry me the rest of the way.

***Author's Desk (07/2010)***

So I decided to continue! Here is the second chapter. Emily had a lot to say! Even though its long it makes for a satisfying read, I assure you. The next chapter will have Duck's story and maybe another's.


	3. Chapter 3

We began our short journey to my home. I asked Duck how she had been.

"I've been good!" she said. "Never better, hehe! Never…" she went off into thought.

"Duck?" I said to regain her attention.

"Oh, sorry!" she said. "Sometimes my brain does that. My brain isn't what it used to be these days. The doctor says I'm sick in the head! But I feel alright so I guess I'm alright."

I gathered that this was what Little Bear meant by her mental illness. I've encountered this before in my travels. Retardation is becoming very common. Unfortunately there is no cure for it yet but there is no real danger to her health as long as she has help. But Duck's case doesn't seem too severe. She is a little slow on the up take but she can very well take care of herself.

All of the sudden she then asked "Am I pretty?" Of course I said that she was the fairest duck in the country! She then smiled as said "Thanks, but I don't think Cat thinks so any more!" It seems she suffered some passed transgression. I asked if she wanted to talk about it. She stopped and gazed up at the tree leaves letting some of the penetrating sun rays het her face. She sighed and continued walking as she began her story.

_Well, once upon a time we were all together. It was me, Cat, Owl, Hen, Little Bear, Emily, No Feet, and Mitzi. We played every day. But Emily wanted to play with Little Bear. So it was just me, Cat, Owl, Hen, and Mitzi and not No Feet because he died somewhere! I was sad but not too sad. Cat, Hen, and Owl would always fight about things. So Hen decided not to play with us anymore. That was the last time I saw Hen. Did you know Hen got murdered! It was by a hunter! Hunters hunt Hens! I didn't even know that._

_But after her funeral we played like normal again. It was me, Cat, Owl, Little Bear, Emily, and Mitzi. I noticed that Little Bear and Emily liked each other! TeeHeeHee! Emily was very pretty and Little Bear was very handsome. They were really happy and we had fun. But I wanted to like someone too and be liked too. I liked Cat. But ever since Hen died he wasn't the same. He started to drink stinky water! Owl would always be around him and Mitzi would always be all over Cat. She drank the stinky water too but not as much as Cat. I still really liked Cat._

_One day Emily and Little Bear broke up and Emily went away for a while. Little Bear was still around but not as much. It was just me, Cat, Owl, and Mitzi. We didn't do much. Cat made a home out of a shack and he and Mitzi would drink stinky water all night! One day he and Mitzi went away for a few weeks and came back with stuff. Cat bought a camera and took pictures of people and things and earned money with Mitzi who drawded pictures. They bought a music maker together. They also bought more stinky water._

_Cat didn't look well when he drank the water. I wanted to make sure he would be okay so I went to his house one night. They were laughing and listening to the music maker! They let me in. The music was playing but they weren't dancing so I decided to dance for them. They looked at me and Mitzi got up to dance with me! We danced for a little bit and she started to hug me and touch me and…kiss me. I was confused! I asked what she was doing and she told me to SHHHH and she touched my private parts. Then cat came over after drinking his water and he got on top of me! I didn't stop him. I wanted him. He loved me! I felt like a beautiful princess! Finally, I liked someone who likes me!_

_I stayed for a little bit. I wanted to know what will happen next! But nothing happened so I left. I thought that now me and Cat was boyfriend and girlfriend. Later that day I came back to his house with lots of fish that I caught all by myself for him. I came in with the fish and placed it on the table. Cat and Mitzi looked at each other like I did something strange. Cat took the fish and ate it all up. I sat there and watched him. Mitzi was drawing me as he ate. Cat thanked me and grabbed his camera and went away for a while. Mitzi left shortly after him. Every day I would go back to his house to see if he returned. One day Mitzi returned. She looked a little different. Maybe because she wore a vest. I asked her if she seen Cat and she said that he will be back next week. I was so excited! I started to clean up his home for him and make sure that some fish was ready for him when he got home. Two weeks later I found out that he left again with Owl._

_I was mad and sad at the same time! My head was confused. A few days later Cat returned and I went to see him. I walked in and all he said was "Oh, hello Duck!" I was kinda disserpointed. I thought he would be happier to see me but I still liked him._

_Nowadays he doesn't talk to me much. He ignores me sometimes and he would rather play with Mitzi. I don't blame him. Mitzi is fun and smart and funny and talented and I'm just a dumb duck._

Such a sad story from a simple girl duck. She has certainly grown up and saw another side to how the world is. It best be from a friend than the rest of the world. I told Duck that I was deeply touched by her story. I felt sorry for her.

"Its okay, Frog" she assured me. "I still have my friends."

All in all, isn't that enough? A world without friends is a world I wouldn't want to be a part of. It doesn't take intelligence to know that. Duck is sheer proof of that.

We made it to the pond. How overjoyed I was to hop into the pond I was born out of! I could've stayed there for days. But I knew I would shortly move on sooner or later. I thanked Duck for her help and she went off to look for her nieces and nephews. I was still saddened by her story but overwhelmed by her optimism. I was truly happy for her strength and happiness.

About an hour later while I was meditating I had a familiar guest approach me. It was Mitzi with sketch book in hand.

"Hiya, Frog!" she said staring. She and Little Bear made it a habit of disrupting my meditation. But I cannot say I didn't miss her chipper voice.

"I heard you were back from traversing the world so I thought I'd say hello! Also, I want to draw you!"

How could I refuse, it was a rare chance to have my image illustrated by a revered artist.

***Author's Desk (08/2010)***

Alright, moving right along here, this is Duck's story. The misspelled words are deliberate. I made myself sad with this one. It was not supposed to be this depressing but it is now. Instead of Cat being next I decided to do Mitzi instead and there is a reason for that and it will reveal itself in due time.

***Author's Desk (06/2012)***

Congratulations, you got through the most disturbing chapter of the story. I literally have nightmares about this chapter. I kind of questioned myself after I wrote this. I can never see Duck the same way. I hope I haven't scarred anyone from this. To me the image of this wasn't the worst part, it's the characters that were involved…I'm sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

Mitzi and I were silent for what I image was an hour. When meditating, time tends to slow down. I take heed of my surroundings. I hear every sound. I feel every vibration. I can vividly paint a picture of my surroundings and I do not even have to take one physical glance. I can feel the life sources of everything around me. Every stone, every plant, every flying insect; their auras wave outwards and wrap themselves around anything in their path like the ripples in the in the very pond I sat upon. This is the ultimate state of Zen; seeing without seeing.

I could imagine there being such a thing for artists. Mitzi is usually a talkative little monkey. And yet I've heard nothing from her since her first pencil stroke. I would imagine time slowing down for her; every minute an hour and every hour an eternity. Such concentration and devotion to the art of sketching, every little detail made visible on canvas. The mind is working and recreating a vivid image just so that others can see it as well. Art, in a way, is a window into the very soul and mind of the artist.

Perhaps I'm getting carried away…

Mitzi halted her sketching and began to cry. I was shocked to witness this so suddenly. She must have been thinking of something troubling while drawing. I find that absolutely amazing; drawing is her form of meditation and reflection. But I asked her what was troubling her.

"It's Cat," she wept. I suspected as much after listening to Duck's story. "What about him" I asked. "He's acting really s-strange and won't talk to me about what's b-bothering him!"

I thought maybe he must have alienated himself due to some sort of self inflicted guilt. But I wasn't sure. I asked Mitzi if she wanted to tell me about what has happened between them. I know what she and Cat did to Duck, something that does not sit well with me, but I can tell that Cat was hurting and it is affecting those around him. Of course I will keep that knowledge from her. After her whipping tears from her eyes she began to tell me her tale.

_Well I'm sure you know what happened with our group of friends. Little Bear and that HUMAN girl got together and tore us apart. I always liked Little Bear and I thought, maybe he and I…well, it never happened and SHE saw to that. But I wanted Little Bear to be happy but more importantly I wanted us to all stick together. But that really didn't happen. But it was still okay. I still played with Duck, Owl, Cat, and Hen…that is until she died. After the incident I started spending more time with Cat. Mostly, because he was feeling sorry for himself when Hen died. He said he felt responsible but I tried to tell him it wasn't his fault. But he kept feeling sorrier for himself. He acquired some whiskey from Grandfather Bear. I never knew Grandfather Bear drank or even that he would offer alcohol to Cat! But he found comfort in it and I was right there with him. I never in my life thought that I would drink alcohol. I came from an abusive family and alcohol was always the cause of trouble or added more fuel to flames. That's why I ran away to Bear Country. But I only drank to keep Cat from feeling lonely. My pity for him grew into love over time. We were always together and he always looked after me just like I always looked after him. We shared each other's secrets and thoughts. I loved him and he loved me…well, at least I thought so, anyway. If not we're best friends, for sure. O__ne day we went to market and with some saved up money I had, I bought him a camera. To my surprise he bought be an illustrator's kit with stuff he traded. __He became a photographer and I became a professional illustrator. He thought being a photographer was a silly dream. I told him that he should pursue his dreams so that he could be happy. He told me that he didn't deserve happiness. It was the most saddening thing I ever heard him say. We earned enough money to buy this phonograph Cat had his eye on. We took it home to celebrate. Of course we got drunk, as well. One night we…_

Mitzi looked up at me with a mixture of shame and concern in her eyes. I knew what was coming next. I assured her that she can tell me anything she wanted me to know with the guarantee that no one else will have to privilege of hearing it. As soon as I made the promise she continued.

_Well, one night we got really drunk and Duck came over. I don't remember all the details because everything is a still a little fuzzy to me. I remembered one day me and Cat talked about Duck and how she longed for Cat. I remembered I asked him if he would have sex with Duck. He said "NO! Would you!?" I told him I would if he would. He sat there and laughed really loud. I thought we were just joking. But that night I was so drunk and couldn't control myself. I don't even remember what I did to her. But Cat,…I remember exactly what he did…_

_Anyway that night was our blood contract. We never spoke of it and we were closer than ever. But it was still awkward. He has been doing more than just drinking though. He started smoking this stuff out of a pipe. It's really strong and it puts him in a bit of a trance. I hated seeing him like that. He got me to do it too. In fact I remember I first tried it that night Duck came over. I just didn't want him to feel alone._

_After a while I stopped smoking it and stopped getting drunk and did whatever I could to get him to stop as well. I think it worked because he eventually calmed down too. I was helping him! I was so proud of him and I admired how much progress he made. I adored him! One day I tried confessing my feelings to him but he didn't want me like that. I thought maybe it wasn't the right time. I respected his decisions and told him that I would follow him anywhere and that he shouldn't be afraid to confide in me. He just looked at me and turned away. We still traveled together sometimes but not as often as we used to._

_As of late, he seemed pretty sober and in better spirits. I went to his house a few days ago and he wasn't home so I decided to make tea for when he came back. When he returned he was a bit surprised to see me. We sat at his table and drank the tea. I told him what I've been up to and he was silent. Every time I caught him looking at me he adverted his eyes. I asked him what was wrong and he told me nothing. But I kept badgering him and he yelled at me and screamed mean things at me and he just keeps…he j-just…and Idunno w-what to do and…_

Mitzi started to weep again. I consoled her until she calmed down. I insisted that she cease explaining herself. I received the impression that there was nothing more to tell. After she whipped her tears away she apologized and asked if I would continue to sit and finish sketching me. I thought some more therapeutic meditation would do both of us some much needed good, more so she than I.

This was good for me to meditate on the situation. From what I'd gathered my friends have seen some good times and some bad. All are more or less satisfied with the way things turned out. If I had stayed I doubt that much would change. Little Bear and Emily were destined to be. Their characters ordained it so. I know firsthand Owl is doing just fine. Duck and Mitzi however have suffered at the doings of Cat and his personal transgressions. It all started with the death of Hen. It is typical for a close friend's problems to affect those around them. What has driven him this way? Perhaps I should pay him a visit.

When Mitzi finished we bided farewells and she went back to what I assume is where Cat resides. She told me where that was when I asked. I left my intentions open and vague. Perhaps it would be best if my meeting with Cat remained disclosed to others. I went to sleep shortly afterwards. I drifted off to the serenading of the pond and pond residents. The next morning after my breakfast I went to see if I could go speak with Cat. At my pace it would most likely take me all of my morning and a bit of my afternoon. I took a short break on a toadstool and decided to meditate for a bit. Before long I could hear a noise in the distance. It was a melody played on strings. It was Owl coming from a distance. He was playing a different stringed instrument than what I'm used to him playing. I waved to him as he approached.

"Hello, old friend!" he said back to me. It was somewhat relieving to see him. "So the rumors are true," he said. News travel quickly of an old friend returning back to Bear Country, or so it would seem. I asked him about his music and he explained "I was trying to get the hang of this guitar a friend gave to me." It was quite a different tune than of his lute. I have never heard or seen such an instrument before, not even in my travels. "It's beginning to become somewhat popular, especially in the States. I was told in about 10 or 20 years from now these will be THE instrument. However, I believe such things remain to be seen. But I digress…"

***And we end on that for now. I would really like to know how I'm doing with this story! It's a popular show and book but not a lot of people look up Little Bear on the internet! I really like this concept and I'm proud of how it's progressing. It's one of my last fan fictions ever so I'm gonna put my all into it. But yeah for anyone reading please let me know how I'm doing!


	5. Chapter 5

It was a delight seeing Owl again. He told me it was by chance that I came back at this time. Any earlier or any later and I would've missed him. It was surely fate. He offered to carry me to Cat's shack. He was on his way there so we became tandem travelers for a brief moment. I am vexed by how large this world is to me. However, it is a blessing in disguise because it means I can learn so much from it. I've traveled further than any frog I know, only to seek knowledge and enlightenment.

I've expressed the sentiment and shared some stories of my travels with Owl who whole-heartedly agreed. He knew no other owl that has seen the things he has seen, or did the things he has done. I've asked him exactly what he's been up to since I left. Even though I already knew half of what Owl has done I would've much rather heard the whole story from his beak.

_Well, I'm sure you know that I'm a well renowned author and publisher now. I'm even surprised how quickly I've gain fame. I've been writing for as long as I could remember. Every time I'm not with everyone I'm reading, learning, and regurgitating ink onto parchment. I've just never really found the time to write more. That was until our friends started to have tiffs and taffs with each other. Little Bear and Emily were getting really close. We all knew they were taken with each other. I personally, thought they were quite the handsome couple. But when they stopped seeing each other we sort of all followed the same example. We still got together but just not as much. When we did get together we did more squabbling than playing. Hen eventually had enough of it and wouldn't see us anymore. I wanted to go talk to her about it, but when I approached her coupe I saw that she and Cat were already drinking tea and laughing, through her window. I did not want to ruin this and figured that Cat could get Hen to come back to us. That was the last time I saw Hen._

_About a couple weeks later we had her funeral. A few days afterwards, we started playing with each other again. I suppose we all realized that life can be so short. I know I did. However, Hen's life was deliberately cut short. Her's was the first of a handful of death's in Bear Country. I read the papers and noticed the deaths of humans being recognized but none of the animals. I journeyed to the constable's department to ask if there were any investigations being held for animals in Bear Country. I was rudely dismissed. I felt that if no one else was going to investigate then I would. I did some research and some asking around and came to find out that hunters were killing animals in Bear Country for sport despite intelligence or status. I spoke with some of the other animals in the woods and some further out and told them of the happenings. Emily's grandmother took this especially to heart. She preached to us and the humans about Animal Rights. We wanted to print literature in the local papers but no paper would print our articles. That's when we got money together to print The Bear Country Woods' exclusive paper with me as editor. Over the course of a few years, some activism and some books, written by yours truly, our voices were heard and Parliament issued an Animal Rights Bill, both public and private. But this is a bit off topic. What were we talking about again?_

"Please, Owl, share what you will," I said to him. I know very little of what else happened in these woods so any news is new to me.

_Well, tracking back a bit,...yes, Hen's funeral. I gave the eulogy. It was a sad day for all of us. Cat took it the hardest. After the funeral I consoled him along with Mitzi. The funeral was the turning point in our friendship. It was a major wake up call and unfortunately the cruel facts of life were something we dealt with head on. I suppose it was especially important for us to spend more time with each other and we tried to do just that. TRIED…but it didn't help. Little Bear and Emily seemed to be going through lover's quarrel. Emily took it the hardest, it seemed. Me and Cat noticed and tried to figure out what was going on but Emily was very short with the topic and half the time she was utterly repulsed by Cat's intoxicating odor and behavior. Cat was spiraling down a dark hole and Mitzi went in afterwards. Duck was hopelessly in love with Cat and did her best to help him. I, on the other hand, did absolutely nothing to help my friends. I figured this was the end so why bother? It was then I sought out personal endeavors like the Animal Rights issue and book publishing. I wrote two books to help our Animal Rights cause, and four novels. One of those novels sold well probably due to the fact that it was very controversial. It was a book about alternative lifestyles. A young wealthy curious man travels with a vagabond couple who shows him the uncouth beauties of the world such as homosexuality and interracial relationship, sinful but tasteful indulgences, and the extreme sort! It's banned in the States! Still living in the dark ages, I'm afraid. I'm currently working on another book focusing on…eh, but before I get to that._

_About us, our friends! So years passed and I noticed that Cat was bettering himself by picking up photography. Mitzi picked up illustration and they've collaborated on published projects. I helped get them published and I often find things for them to work on. They've traveled with me on a number of occasions, as far as Europe and Northern Africa. We'll be leaving for South America in a few weeks. Duck…Duck was diagnosed with Mental Retardation. Her nieces and nephews were actually her ducklings! She never knew of birth and her natural instincts didn't clue her in on what was happening to her. We didn't know until her eldest duckling told us what happened. They were tired of being neglected so they left Bear Country. I'm not sure if they'll be back. Emily's Grandmother died and left me the full rights to the Bear Country Newspaper Company, which is ran under my name. It's a small and humble paper. Grandfather Bear passed away and left Grandmother Bear as a widow. She still is the same sweet Grandmother Bear she's always been, even though her sight is leaving her. Father Bear and Mother Bear caught wanderlust and started traveling after Little Bear and Emily got married. That was a magical day._

_You see, after the bill was assented, humans started acknowledging the intelligence we animals carried. We interacted and our species mingled with the human race in merriment and companionship. We joined their churches. They ate our food. Our children played with their children. Animals and humans were getting along, famously, some more so than others. Some humans were falling in love with some animals and vice versa. But interspecies marriages were not very popular, you see. Well, people and animals started talking, then talking turned into preaching and then preaching turned into protesting and before long, another Bill was assented. Canadians seem to have a gift for talking and persuasion, even when used amongst their own kind. Strangely enough, as soon as interspecies marriage was allowed no one stepped up to get married for almost a year. It could've been because of the threats or sudden changes of hearts or a combination of the two. But two were brave enough to step up, those two being our Little Bear and Emily, of course. They were the first documented interspecies marriage in the world! I covered the story. It was a beautiful arrangement. We held it here in the forest, not too far from Emily's Grandmother's house. Everyone we knew came and even strangers who were either happy or curious to witness the happy and momentous occasion. It was this very thing I am basing my new novel on. It will be somewhat of a political Romeo and Juliet about a Human man who fell in love with a…well I'm still working on what animal to include but it might be an owl. I'm still deciding._

"That is quite some tale," I told him.

"All of it, fact and nothing less" he said so proudly. I was especially relieved to have someone tell me what else had happened in these woods since my leaving. I've heard only so little news coming from this area. Being in the midst of this land and hearing the goings-on shed a much greater light.

"I suppose this brings us to the present" I brought up. "You said you've business with Cat, am I correct?"

"Well, yes," Owl said reluctantly. "You see, the day of Little Bear and Emily's wedding I've had a chat with Cat to see if anything was wrong with him. He told me one day that he would be strong enough to tell me everything. I've bumped into Mitzi recently who said that Cat has been sober for weeks. I didn't want to miss this chance to talk to him. I hope you don't mind hearing someone talk about their troubles."

Haven't I before? I am awfully intrigued by this curious matter. If anything besides seeing an old friend I pray I could be of some assistance.

Before long our walk has ended and we arrived at a shanty of a shack that was built leaning against an old tree which appeared as if it were growing out of a moss covered boulder that was embedded into the ground. We were before Cat's home.

***We're narrowing down here. Cat's tale is going to sum up what has been happening so far in Bear country. It's gonna have some interesting twists. Cat's chapter will be the easiest to write. It's closing that's gonna be hard. We'll see. I'm also gonna submit edited versions of the previous chapters as well. I wanna make them look pretty, y'know.

***Author's Desk (09/2012)*** Well I thought it was gonna be easy but it's not. It's pretty rough. It was so rough I had to go back and change a few thing (Ch 4 had the heaviest edits). But I'm coming to the close of Cat's story. I haven't even thought about how I was going to end this but Chapter 6 is coming soon. Until then please reread.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Same as first, **BUT I ADVISE YOU TO READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, AT LEAST FROM CHAPTER 3, AS I HAVE MADE SOME CHANGES. THIS CHAPTER WILL FLOW BETTER IF YOU DO.**

Owl and I approached to front door and knocked. Cat didn't answer. Owl turned to me with a slightly surprised look on his face. He turned back to the door and knocked again. We waited in anticipation hoping for Cat to answer us but we received no response.

"Well should we try later?" I asked Owl.

Owl looked around, I suppose as if he were looking for Cat. He stopped to look at the sun in the sky. It was late afternoon.

"We should wait for him to return," he finally said.

We did. I proceeded in meditation as Owl played his guitar instrument. It was a tad difficult to meditate at first. It was clear that Owl just recently picked up the guitar. But he being familiar with stringed instruments it wasn't long before he could compose melodic harmony. I lost myself in his music and achieved Zen that way.

About an hour went past when Owl saw Cat coming down the path. He was pulling a wagon full of paper bags. Apparently he went to market. Perhaps he was anticipating company. He had far too many bags for just himself.

"Hello, Cat," Owl yelled as Cat approached his home.

"Afternoon," Cat muffled in return with his teeth biting down on the wooden handle of his wagon.

Cat pulled in and sat his wagon leaning against his home. He turned to give me a glance. He noticed it was his green pond friend from not so long ago. His eyes captured mine. It was a second's glace but his vibrant green eyes pierced mine so deeply. It was long enough to see how much pain he had endured and held in. I've heard much about Cat and his actions. I am quite curious as to what exactly initiated such behavior. I hoped to find out that day.

After we greeted, Owl helped Cat with his groceries as I managed to open the door for them. I was quite surprised to see inside of Cat's home. It was neat. The walls were painted blue and framed photographs practically cover one of them. They were photographs of landscapes, people, animals, events, and friends. It was still a small home. There was no kitchen. There were some chairs, a small table, and a wood oven. There was a window above his bucket of a sink. There also was a hole that led off to somewhere else. By the door I saw some rope and a sign that said "Cat." I imagine Cat must do something new to his home every week at least.

Cat and Owl placed the groceries on the table. Cat rushed to his cupboard to pull out some teacups. He placed them in front of us and went to place a kettle already full of water on top of the wood stove. He lit the oven and came to put his groceries away.

"So what brings you two by?" Cat asked, striking up conversation.

"Well Frog came back and I thought it would be nice if I took him to see you," Owl replied concealing his true intentions.

"Well, it is a surprise to see you Frog. I trust your travels done you well," Cat said still putting away groceries.

"Yes, but my pond called me home! It is nice to see old friends."

"Indeed…," Cat said.

Cat prepared tea and fish for us as we told tales of our adventures. After two hours we found ourselves over in front of Cat's warm stove. Cat went over to place a tune on his phonograph and played it at a low volume. He came back to sit with us. He took out his pipe and smoked hemp as a subtle silence graced the room.

"So Owl, when are you going to tell me what really brings you over?" Cat asked as he pulled from his pipe. With this lone question tension fell and immediately filled every corner of the room.

Owl sighed then responded, "I suppose I should stop beating around the bush here. Do you recall when you told me there would be a day where you would tell me something?"

"I do…"

"Well I've heard that you've been taking care of yourself lately. You've demonstrated strength in character. You seemed like your old self again…I didn't want to pass up a golden opportunity like this."

Cat cut his eyes to me.

"Don't worry about him, Cat," Owl assured. "He is better company than anyone right now."

"If I may interject," I said as if pleading my case in court. "I've…heard some things Cat. I've heard from all of our friends about you, especially from Duck and Mitzi…"

Cat remained still, eyes still fixated on me.

I continued on saying "With all due respect Cat I will gladly leave if you wish. But I encourage you to share with me your story. I may be of some assistance. And even if I'm not I still would like to offer my hand in any way. I know you're hurt, Cat. That much is clear. As a friend, please, open up. Not for our sake, but for your own."

Cat stayed defiant in his stature for a brief moment. He took one last puff from is pipe and butted the ashes in the ashes in the oven.

"I have been waiting for you Owl to ask me that for the past week," he said. "I suspect that you know what it is I have to say. I wouldn't be surprised if you know, too, Frog. But I'm ready to tell you if you're ready to listen. I'll start from the beginning."

_It all started when Hen decided to stop playing with us. Honestly, I couldn't care less if she left or stayed. It was her decision. Besides I find her presence insufferable at times. That day when she walked away from us I went to take a walk and I began to realize how much of a fun time I had when we all got together. I figured I should do something for the sake of us all. I went to go see her and try and see if I could sway her mind about playing with us again. But I had to bend myself to her liking, so to speak. That may not seem like much but it was much more than I could bear. I sat when she said I could, I sipped daintily her "perfectly" sweetened tea, I was forced to complement her coupe every two sentences, and I listened to her complain and bicker and babble and defame. She was going on sharing mean perceptions of our friends and names I did not know. She was self righteous and evil and I couldn't take anymore. I yelled and struck her. She fell and looked at me. Then her beak went on insulting me, demeaning me and placing herself on her self-obsequious pedestal, all the while from the floor she fell upon! I never paid much attention to how pompous she was. I hit her again. I hit her, smacking her all over her kitschy home. I gripped my paws around her fat neck and sunk my claws into her. She died slowly…_

How fiendish, I thought. I looked at Owl and I saw a look of shock spelled across his face. I couldn't blame him. How could Cat commit such a dastardly deed against his own friend, or rather someone he called his friend.

"I understand your reaction but please allow me to finish and explain myself."

_I couldn't believe what I've done when I saw her body sprawled on her floor. I had to get rid of the body, I thought. I found a knife in her cupboard and cut her into pieces. I was careless and sloppy because I was rushing to get it done quickly. I waited in her coupe until night fall. I cleaned up eradicating any evidence of foul play until then. When my time came I grabbed Hen's gardening wagon and scattered her remains along the edge of the woods. A few days later some of her was found and we had her funeral. I was a nervous wreck. I saw everyone's sad faces and I lost it. I broke down in tears. I brought sadness to my friends when I only wanted to make things right again. It was a traumatizing event for me. It wasn't long before I turned to the bottle. I knew Grandfather Bear kept a healthy assortment in his seller. Having lost any shame I threw away I broke into his seller and stole all I could carry. I drowned my sorrows and it helped. And Mitzi and Duck…_

_I dealt quite a bit of pain to those two. They both were enamored with me and I knew it. Mitzi did what she could to help but ended drinking with me. She stuck by my side always. She would ask if she could help and I always turned her away. Her company was appreciated and we produced beautiful work together. It was because of her I got into photography in the first place. She bought me my first camera. I have so much respect for her and I wish I could've opened up more to her. No one should be disrespected for just being a friend. And Duck! Oh Duck, I'm so sorry…_

Cat broke down in tears. I knew what he has done to poor Duck. I wondered if Owl knew. Cat composed himself and continued.

_I did not mean to do it. I was drunk and confused and I pushed Mitzi into it. I had no shame. I wrecked the lives of two souls that night. I made Mitzi violate Duck and I pulled her off of her to finish the dirty deed. Mitzi just sat in the corner and cried. I yelled at her and told her to be quiet as I finished! What was wrong with me?_

Apparently I did not know the whole story. I wonder what else I don't know.

_After I finished Duck stayed for a while and then left. Mitzi stayed and never said a word. On one of my trips a man offered me an unusual herb called opium. From time to time I would part take of it. That night we smoked all I had with Mitzi. I suppose I wanted both of us to forget about what happened that night. This is the first time I spoke of it since then._

_Duck kept coming to see me, always bringing fish, bless her soul. Sometimes I would be away and she would take care of my place for me. I was so confused. She was brimming with love and compassion. I hate myself for taking advantage of that. I was almost afraid to talk to her. Conversation really never accelerated beyond simple pleasantries. Mitzi and I continued to travel and collaborate. She stopped smoking with me but would have a drink with me every once and a while. She was trying to better herself. I wanted to ask for what but part of me always knew. She wanted to be an example for my sake. I always thought that was foolish of her. I could have all the examples in the world. I could shape up and be a beacon of righteousness, but it would not save me from the pain I caused._

_I remember one Christmas we all gathered at Little Bear and Emily's for dinner. It was when Emily was pregnant with her child. Her child is the most beautiful thing that ever entered this world. Everything about her is just surreal. But, the whole evening I was drinking. I made a fool of myself stumbling around in a drunken stupor, blabbering gibberish. I fell and bumped my head pretty hard. I woke up later that evening lying in a bed. I made my way to the door of the room I was in. Instead of walking out I slightly opened the door to see what was happening. It seems everyone has eaten. Music was playing and everyone was laughing and talking. Closer to my door I saw Little Bear, Owl, and Father Bear talk over drinks. Father Bear was concerned about my behavior and that maybe I shouldn't be invited to their social events until I get better. Little Bear vouched for me saying that it would help if I was in the company of friends and loved ones more. I realized that what I was doing, my self-destructive behavior, was only hurting more people. Emily is expecting. The day Little Bear found out Emily was pregnant he wanted all of us to be their baby's aunts and uncles. My heart felt warm when he said that. I thought it was amazing that he and Emily were going to be parents. I genuinely wanted the best for them. I always did. Birth is so precious to me. A new life has a fresh beginning and what this world has to offer it; they can make the very best of it. I wish for a chance to be rebirthed into the world. I want to start over._

_Ever since then I kept my drinking and smoking to a minimum and away from others. Mitzi realized I was trying to better myself. She was so proud of me. One day she confessed her love for me. She shared such beautiful feelings. I never knew she cared so deeply. I didn't know what to say so I said nothing. She took that as me not being ready yet. I wouldn't mind sharing a life with Mitzi. She has a wonderful soul. But she deserves much better. Or maybe I really am not ready for her. I am a work in progress…NO! I won't ever be right for her. I know it. That's why I shooed her away from me. For her own good. I'm afraid I'll hurt her like I did Hen. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt anyone, anymore…_

I wasn't sure how to take Cat's story. Cat is a murderer and a rapist. But he is also a victim to his feelings and impulsions. He is deeply sorry. I received that much from him. But I don't know if I could look at him the same way. What he did to Hen and why he did it…I wasn't sure if I could accept that.

"Cat," Owl said breaking the silence. "I want to thank you for sharing that with us. It really took a lot of courage. But you were right. I knew all along what you did to Hen."

My gasp was deep enough for me to choke on. I was shocked that Owl would keep such news to himself and for so long.

"Owl! Why did you keep this a secret?" I asked still composing myself from coughing.

"When I saw you, Cat, I saw you talking with her. I didn't want to disturb so I left. But then I heard a loud yell. I rushed back to see what was the commotion and I saw you strangling Hen. I was so scared. I was too scared to do anything. I hid in the bushes, frozen stiff. I didn't want to move. I saw everything. When you left her coupe I flew home. I didn't want to turn you in because you were my friend but I knew I couldn't just ignore what happened and do nothing. But I did nothing to stop you so this was nothing really different. So I just let the events unfold."

"Owl, you could've turned me in!" Cat exclaimed. "You could've liberated me from my torment. But you just let these things happen to me!"

"Cat! I'm not the wrong doer here," Owl yelled. "And don't turn yourself into the victim. You knew what you did was wrong, Cat. You killed our friend."

"I know! Don't you think I might've told myself that once or twice!? I must've told myself that as many times as I replayed that night in my head! But you know something? As I look back, I can't help but realize that maybe it was inevitable."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you see Owl? This is me! This is who I am! I am selfish; I'm several shades of it. I am so selfish I want to stop hurting everyone so I can save all of the hurt for myself. I never liked Hen. I killed her because of it. It is that simple, sad to say. I wanted to walk down the path of self destruction. I just didn't want anyone to follow me. It does not even matter that you failed to do anything, anymore. It wasn't going to stop me from being who I am."

I had enough. I had to step in.

"Cat," I said hoping to clear the air of the negative energy. "What you fail to realize is that who you are does not limit you to the path you take in life. It is quite the contrary. The path you take does not limit who or what you can be. It is the journey in life that ultimately defines who we really are. Our actions will shape us. Our convictions will be challenged. The destination of the journey of our lives is our true selves."

"So what are you trying to say?" Cat questioned. "It's not over for me?"

"I do not believe it so, Cat. You have the authority to keep going. The choice is yours."

From that point on me and Owl spent hours trying to convince Cat that he truly can change. Cat has committed unforgivable sins. But before he can take his next steps he must end the war he is having with himself and find peace through self forgiveness.

It was very late when we decided to depart. Cat wanted to thank us for that evening. He offered his home to us that evening. I was so mentally drained it took a toll on me physically and it seemed Owl felt the same. We accepted his offer. Cat set up places for us to sleep.

We knew there was still much to discuss as to what happens to Cat from there. I overcame my aversion for Cat and only sought out to help him. I don't believe Owl wants to turn him in to the authorities. At this point it wouldn't help much, not to Cat. Owl actually seemed really relieved. His concerns for Cat were settled and a secret that has burned him was lifted. He should be relieved. I'm sure we would've continued from where we left off the next day. With that thought I drifted off to sleep…

Cat never went to sleep. He stood up writing down collected thoughts. When he finished he waited for dawn to arrive, smoking from his pipe while losing himself in his thoughts. Dawn finally arrived with sunrise minutes away. Cat grabbed his short ladder and the sign and rope that was by the door and went outside. Cat fixed the sign above the front door. The sign was made of wood and hinged to a metal bar that Cat secured to the shack. Cat then took the rope and tied it tightly to the base of the metal bar where it was attached to the shack. Cat then tied a noose around his neck. Cat saw that the sun was about to make its debut over a far off hill. He felt the rays upon his face as he stood on his ladder. He smiled and then kicked the ladder from underneath him…

He did not struggle or make a sound. The only thing that could be heard was the birds singing good morning to the new day.

**** Well this was a long awaited chapter. How was it? There is still more to come, I gotta close this. It might be the next one it might be another. We'll see.


End file.
